after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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