we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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