he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
