I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
