Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
