Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
