Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
