We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
