I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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