Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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