that's an acceptable place to lick
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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