I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
