Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
