I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
