weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
