I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
