I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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