no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
