my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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