my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
