Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
