dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
