i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
