david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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