3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
