come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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