An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
