Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
