can we get nightvision for the apartment?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
it's like iHOP with fire
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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