You're so nebulous sometimes
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
