i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
