well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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