I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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