And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
