Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
