Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
