i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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