I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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