that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's official drugs can't kill me
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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