Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
