They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
