dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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