There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
