I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
