Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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