A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
