Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
