Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
