Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
