its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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